Have You Ever Been Humbled by a Vibrator?

Embracing Toys in the Bedroom is Essential to How and Why We Are Able to Enjoy Our Most Sexually Fulfilled Future

Physically drained, emotionally spent, semi-conscious, and laid on your back, for the last [indeterminate period], you’ve been efforting to have the most orgasm-provoking sexual intercourse with your partner as humanly possible. Finally, you have just achieved the type of penile orgasm that starts at the base of your solar plexus, sends electric pulses through the space between your taint and urethra, flows through your spine, smashes into your occipital bone, and causes hot flashes to shoot through your scalp. As the adrenaline rush dissipates, you’re seconds away from passing out. Then, in the sleep-fuzzing corner of your right eye, you see your partner’s hand rustling. Five more seconds pass, and you hear what…yes…is the whirring sound of a Magic Wand.

You want to sit up to look, but you’re paralyzed by exhaustion. The gloom and dread of feeling defeated – as if you’re some cocksure sexual John Henry metaphorically driving steel nails into railroad ties like so many cocks and holes – settles in your soul. Just like the 19th-century railroad worker, you suffered a (little) death while trying to best an engine-driven machine. As your partner moans in pleasure while achieving another orgasm, you settle into gloomy sedation.

Awakening refreshed, you realize that a spot between your thigh and calf is soaking wet as you sit up. You look to your right, and though your partner is passed out, they’re blithely smiling. Look down from her mouth to her right arm to her right hand, and you see that same vibrator, near dripping from their pleasure. Then, you settle back into gloomy sedation, thinking of yourself not satisfactory enough for your eager partner.

“This…this isn’t good for our relationship,” you think to yourself, letting the heavy odors of sweat and overripe pheromones seep back into your skin, and crestfallen depression now owns your vibes.

Feeling humbled and humiliated by a vibrator need not be the case.

If in ownership of a penis, you’ve been here, in the situation above. For as much as it likely feels like an onerous death knell to your confidence in your skills at interpersonal sexual satisfaction, this, again, need not be the case.

The embrace of toys – like vibrators – as part and parcel of an entirely holistic sexual experience honors the full potential of bodies involved in sex past merely reducing orifices to receptacles for erotic pleasure.

Instead, it should open up your eyes to potentially evolving how you think about the act of sex. The embrace of toys – like vibrators – as part and parcel of an entirely holistic sexual experience honors the full potential of bodies involved in sex past merely reducing orifices to receptacles for erotic pleasure.

Of all the world’s many sciences, sexual desire is arguably the most imprecise. Getting two minds and two bodies to align with the precision to create equally optimal sexual experiences is astoundingly unlikely. How unlikely? Facts reveal truths that should calm the over-tensed nerves of penis possessors worldwide.

Even if your partner is quiet and attentive during foreplay because our days are filled five times more stimulation than ever before, the chances that your mind is already too severely over-fatigued to best respond are extraordinarily high.

A 2015 Fast Company article entitled “Why It’s So Hard To Pay Attention, Explained By Science” highlights that the processing capacity of the conscious mind has been estimated at 120 bits per second. It also notes that as of 2010 daily, humans consume five times as much information every day as they did in 1986. Moreover, the ability to understand one person speaking to us typically requires half of our mind’s processing bandwidth. Thus, even if your partner is quiet and attentive during foreplay because our days are filled five times more stimulation than ever before, the chances that your mind is already too severely over-fatigued to best respond are extraordinarily high.

Even deeper, the stress of the work that your body needs to do to achieve peak arousal via stimulation is problematic, too.

“Stress is an emotion that can have a positive or negative outcome. It is caused by a stimulus, which results in arousal and possible action. Arousal is another emotion that involves activation and excitation. At high levels of stress and arousal, actions can be inhibited,” states 62-year old American psychologist Johnmarshall Reeve’s 2005-released textbook Understanding Motivation and Emotion. If looking for irrefutable scientific or scholarly proof to back up the thesis that sexual desire is wildly imprecise, this book has undergone seven different reprintings in nearly 20 years since its initial publication.

Amid a pandemic, coupled with a simultaneous economic depression and recession, and unusually high levels of social angst, another body could take a much more prolonged time to be readied for sexual acts.

In a scenario where one body could be extraordinarily ready for intercourse, it’s fair to say – amid a pandemic, coupled with a simultaneous economic depression and recession, and unusually high levels of social angst – that another body could take a much more prolonged time to be readied for sexual acts. This shouldn’t necessarily preclude them from happening. However, the introduction of arousal-provoking toys for both partners is ideal.

Sex, especially in this developing and unique environment in human history, is an act that is in no way remotely as simple as turn on, get in, get off. Even deeper, it’s a level beyond the tantric sense of being a slow, meditative and sensual journey. The idea now exists of sex as an act involving pieces and parts working in analog and mechanical union to create significantly prolonged and multi-level pleasure. Imagine taking the concept of the tantric roller coaster and thinking now, instead, of stretching an already loose, large-circumference rubber band as long and powerfully as possible until it snaps. It’s a different and unexplored sexual scenario that has never been truly mainstreamed. But, conditions being what they are now, it’s likely time to consider an adequate solution.

Blending stimulating foreplay with penis-initiated sex by following up with magic wand-led stimulation feels ideal. Especially for those receiving partners who possess a clitoris.

Owning the Rechargeable Magic Wand feels like a sane, logical investment for overwhelming our overstimulated lives. The device’s large but soft head precisely distributes vibration with four speeds and vibration patterns available. It also holds a charge for three hours, plus is compatible with silicone and water-based lubes. The idea of blending stimulating foreplay with penis-initiated sex by following up with magic wand-led stimulation feels ideal. Especially for those receiving partners who possess a clitoris, the ability to discover the unlimited plethora of angles and pressure points that provoke your clitoral arousal is essential. Also, combining methods can prove to impact your orgasm in new and exciting ways.

As well, Lelo’s Waterproof Mona G Spot Vibrator excels at stimulating either the prostate or the vagina in the same manner as the externally-focused Magic Wand. Finding an insertable toy that offers six different modes of engagement with a four-hour maximum life at peak charge is special. The fact that it curves with a flat, broad head is important. Too often, insertable toys mimic penises specifically in tip shape. What this does inside the body is that it turns the head of the product into a focused weapon instead of a broadly helpful tool. This is ideal if looking for deep  – and often, soothing – pressure. If feeling like you’re at the edge of orgasm, perhaps this isn’t ideal. But suppose you’re laying in bed, feeling sexually stranded mid-pleasure while your partner is gloriously satisfied. In that case, this will offer the type of prolonged, intense pressure likely necessary to achieve prime sexual enjoyment.

Yes, there are those of us for whom humanity is no longer enough. But thankfully, orgasms are not out of the reach of any of us.

Though the next-advised option may sound absurd, times like these are far from the norm. Thus, significant reinforcements may be necessary. Spending nearly $2000 on the Cowgirl Unicorn Premium Sex Machine may seem extreme. However, if you were already leading a high-stress lifestyle and sex was already problematic before 2020, it’s now 2022. If you fall in this category, you’re now far past being overstimulated, your brain is toasted beyond recognition, and your stress levels are incalculable. In short, it’s time for the big guns. The device holds a person up to 400 pounds in weight, plus remote-aided speed and intensity control via penetrative and non-invasive options. Yes, there are those of us for whom humanity is no longer enough. But thankfully, orgasms are not out of the reach of any of us.

Times are strange, but bodies are even more bizarre. However, in embracing how bodies and toys must now combine to meet our human sexual potential, the ability to evolve as more holistic people with optimal sexual joy as an altruistic can occur.

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