When it comes to sex, no matter what your preferences are you can follow the old adage: the wetter the better. Using lube doesn’t mean you’re not turned on, heck it might not even mean you’re not wet yourself. Instead try thinking of using lube as creating less friction, smoother skin, and simply put, all-around better sex, no matter your gender, age, kinks, or personal lubricating ability.
Lube is one of the best intimate enhancers around. What else is guaranteed to make sex wetter, slicker, more enjoyable, and longer-lasting? Not only can it help you feel more comfortable during sex, but lube comes in a variety of flavors, sensations, and textures to make the action feel fun, exciting, and experimental. Even if you don’t have any difficulties getting wet without help, it’s just good planning to keep lube available to use in case you’re dealing with dryness. Your lubrication can fluctuate based on hormone changes related to pregnancy, your cycle, breastfeeding, or just plain old stress.
So first step is to make sure that you’re using one that’s appropriate for you, your partner, and any sex toys you’ll want to include.
But the good news is lubricant can and should be used by all, regardless of gender, age, sexuality, or kinks. Simply add it to any part of the body that you’re stimulating, or using with a sex toy. Lube can be primarily water-, oil- or silicone-based formulas. There are also hybrid lubes that are mostly water-based with typically about 10-12% silicone lube mixed in. So first step is to make sure that you’re using one that’s appropriate for you, your partner, and any sex toys you’ll want to include.
Keep in mind that with sensation lubricants that there’s a real difference between a warming lube and a lube that is warm. The lubricants that are warming tend to be made with the assumption that sensation is synonymous with heat. When you’re thinking of sensation lube, think more like menthol ointments for sore muscles and you’ll understand that sensation better. If that sensation sounds good to you, then I would go for it! It can actually help enhance arousal by increasing blood flow, which will add more tingle and sensations to even the most subtle types of play. For some, it can even help make orgasms feel more intense.
If you’re someone with sensitive skin you want to avoid warming products with chemical preservatives like glycerin and propylene glycol. Although common in many skincare and beauty products, these ingredients can be irritating to genitals and can contribute to drying out the sensitive genital tissue. Try to stick to ingredients that naturally feel warming like menthol, cinnamon oil, and peppermint. Lubes that naturally feel warming like the Radiant Love Warming oil-based lube, Wicked Ultra Heat, Sliquid Sizzle, or Wicked Ultra Cool. Just make sure the lube is compatible with your toys, and skin! You can also add localized heat with stimulating gels. Those gels can be used on nipples, the clit, or even under the head of the penis to draw all the blood to the surface and make things more sensitive. Or add a drop of gel to your fave lube you have at home by adding a drop of stimulating gel to lube in your hand. Stimulating gels like Wicked Awaken, Intimate Earth Stimulating Gel, Sliquid Stimulating O Gel, or for folks looking for the stronger, more intense formulas, Southern Butter Enhance and Intimate Earth Intense Stimulating Gel.
Exsens warming massage oil is a great way to add sensation to other erogenous zones besides the genitals. Put this on your partner’s inner thigh, and let it warm up when you rub it, and then enjoy licking it off since it comes in a variety of flavors. Get creative and add it to nipples, the nape of their neck, or down their spine!
If all you’re looking for is a gentle warming sensation then you really don’t need to buy a warming lube. Use these 2 simple methods to warm up your favorite lube.
- Squeeze some lube into your hand and close your hand to warm it up to body temperature. The product will naturally get warm into a more pleasurable temp with your body heat.
- Fill a glass with warm water and set your closed bottle of lubricant into the glass. Keep the bottle in warm water for 10 to 15 minutes before you use the lube.
The juxtaposition of the cold on your warm body in a warm room can fill the body with a mix of sensations that can be incredibly erotic.
If you’ve ever used ice erotically or been curious, you can take it to the next level and try putting your lube in the fridge before applying it to your erogenous area of choice. Physiologically, cold will constrict blood flow, and you know that blood flow is essential for arousal. So you might think that cold sensations are the opposite of what you’d want. But actually, they can enhance situational heat, so to speak. The juxtaposition of the cold on your warm body in a warm room can fill the body with a mix of sensations that can be incredibly erotic. You can also try alternating between warm and cold lubes. It’s a way to stimulate your brain and body differently, and it puts your nerve endings on high alert.
Just make sure to check the temperature by putting one or two drops on your hand before applying it to your genitals, they’re more sensitive to temperature. A good guideline to follow is if it’s too cold or hot to hold in your hand, it’s going to be too extreme for genitals and your more sensitive parts.
While water-based lubricant will not work for body massage because it’ll just get absorbed into our skin, you can always use your favorite oil or silicone-based lubricant! Then you can go from intimate massage to penetration without being worried about getting oil on your genitals that might cause an infection. Silicone is great because it doesn’t get absorbed into your skin, so it stays slippery for a long time. Just beware putting it on your feet, then standing up, you’ll slide everywhere! Uberlube is my go-to because the formula also has Vitamin E so it’s also nice and moisturizing for the skin. And for body and intimate massage Living Libations has a few different options to curate your experience.
Oils to specifically avoid as a lubricant are petroleum jelly, baby oil, vegetable, canola, and other refined oils and lotions/massage oils especially those with perfumes and preservatives. The reasons range from them trapping bacteria in the body, clogging pores, and simply staining your sheets. Make sure you’re using something safe for the sensitive bits if you plan on massaging more intimate areas. Keep in mind, just because a product is natural doesn’t mean it’s perfectly safe for your body. But if you’re looking to upgrade your body massage, try adding Nuru gel for a slippery body to body Nuru massage
Make a condom more pleasurable for the wearer
While condoms might not be the most fun item you can buy, it can be a necessary part of playtime. If that’s the case, if you add a drop of silicone lube to the head of a penis before you roll the condom on you’ll add some slip, and add sensation to the most sensitive part of the penis. Just make sure to only add silicone lubricant to the head, if the shaft of the penis is too slippery you risk the condom slipping off.
Silicone-based lubes won’t wash away in water, making them ideal for some wet, slippery fun.
Make sex in the water possible
How can it be so wet and so dry! While getting frisky in the shower or bath is a fun time, water is a terrible lubricant because it tends to wash away whatever natural lubrication your body may produce, leaving you high and dry; so to speak. Silicone-based lubes won’t wash away in water, making them ideal for some wet, slippery fun. The Gel formulas are ideal for staying put, even underwater. Just stay on top of spills. While silicone lubes provide slippery fun when applied to your body, they’re dangerous on slick surfaces of your shower and or bathtub. Wipe up any spills so you don’t hurt yourself by falling.
Get it deep inside you
Ever feel like lube just doesn’t get deep enough for it to be helpful to you? Lube shooters might be the answer you’re looking for. Or the Lube injector that can attach right to your favorite lube. Then you simply insert the syringe into the hole of your choice and lubricate yourself from the inside out. Perfect for fisting, deeper play, or just getting the lube deeper into your body.
Stop a door from squeaking, it’s better than WD40!
Did you buy a bottle of Silicone lube and now you realize it lasts forever because a little goes a long way? The good news is that silicone is the macgyver of products and can be used in a ton of different ways.
- Shine patent leather and latex clothes and accessories. Just avoid silicones with Vitamin E on latex, it’ll slowly break it down over time.
- Shaving cream, it creates a nice barrier between the razor and your skin
- Hair defrizzer, lots of your favorite hair products use silicone in them!
- Makeup primer, trust me.
- Getting a ring off your finger, or getting a zipper moving.
- Stop a door from squeaking, it’s better than WD40!
- Stop chafing, a little between the thighs on a hot day is a lifesaver.
- Bandaid or other adhesive removers
Now that you have tons of different ways to use the lube and elevate your experience, how will you start? Will it be a different type of lube, or a new texture? Or will you jump in headfirst and try them all? Try a bunch of different formulas before you commit to one formula, or find the perfect formula for specific activities you want to participate in. All in all, have fun, lube up, and dive into pleasure.