Your House is Full of Kinky Tools and you Don’t Even Know it

Get your creative juices flowing! There are plenty of household items to spice up the bedroom that you probably have around your house that can enhance your sex life. We call those items pervertables, but what exactly is a pervertible? 

Pervertibles are a broad term used to describe any common household object that can be converted into an item of kinky use! And it sounds sexier than “household sex items”. This means that you creative-minded individuals can freely express your dirty, kinky, and imaginative minds even if you don’t have access to fancier sex toys. For example, if you use ice to play around with temperature on your erogenous zones…congrats! You’ve perverted ice! If you’re curious about BDSM and power exchange, but maybe you do not have the budget to spend on gorgeous, high-quality toys, pervertibles can be a great option. While luxury toys are great, there are other options and these are great to mix in with the toys you already own.

There’s no time like the present!

Are you on a budget? Or maybe you’re a big fan of instant gratification. Nothing sounds better than something you already own in your own home that you can give new purpose to. These items are also usually inexpensive and easier to find then a flogger laying around your house. We’re in a pandemic, and going out shopping isn’t a quick or easy option. Plus, online ordering can be difficult for specialty items. While Spectrum does ship BDSM tools, having something immediately on hand to use can be immediately gratifying. They’re also very discreet, which means you might be more comfortable having them around the house. In fact, almost anything can be made into a pervertible! All it requires is a bit of patience and creativity. This is also a great exercise in creative thinking.

Let your mind wander and see what you come up with.

Tying your partner to a new surface is a fun change of scenery. If you’re used to only using the bed, even moving to the shower and tying them up there can be enough variation to make things interesting. Plus whatever mess you make in the bathroom is easy cleanup! Have feathers or a scarf in your house? Run it along your partner’s skin to tease them. Even grab a fork and run it along their skin. The possibilities are endless. Let your mind wander and see what you come up with.

But proceed with caution!

One main guideline for participating in BDSM is RACK, which stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink, which can be applied to every aspect of our daily lives. Simply put, you’re aware of the risk involved in whatever actions you are taking, not just during kink scenes. Ideally, you should be able to name those risks and know how you’re going to prevent them. Consensual is also equally as important. It just means that everyone is on board with what you’re about to do or what you’re currently doing. Trust your gut, and don’t try anything dangerous!

Being able to bring my kinky practice into Animal Crossing is a really fun way to connect in a non-traditional way.

Digital Pervertibles

Now that we are all stuck at home, think about the digital connections you are already using. I’m sure there is a way to pervert all of them. Think of the phenomenon of Animal Crossing. I’m personally obsessed. Being able to bring my kinky practice into Animal Crossing is a really fun way to connect in a non-traditional way. Think of all the kinky things you can have someone do if you’re playing words with friends and the loser has to send nudes to the winner.

Fuckable Pervertibles

Things that have a phallic shape have been inserted into holes since the beginning of time. We’ve even seen dildos that are 28,000 years old! So needless to say, before there were offically sex toys, people got creative with what they had on hand. There are the obvious choices of cucumbers, bananas, and other phallic fruit. Self Delve even has sex toy versions of veggies you can fuck! Other common choices can be the neck of a bottle, hair brush handle—hell, you can even get wild with a turkey baster. If you’re a fan of ice, you could even freeze water in a condom and go to town!

Ruben Ahlers
If you’re a fan of ice, you could even freeze water in a condom and go to town!

With that being said, anything you’re inserting into orifices in the body should be made of safe, sanitizable materials. So if you’re planning on sticking that banana where the sun doesn’t shine, put a condom on it! Especially take into consideration if there is sugar content in something you’re inserting into a vagina, you’ll want to put a condom on it so you don’t get a yeast infection.

Another thing to keep in mind when converting pervertibles is that anything that goes in any butt needs to have a base on it! The vagina ends at the cervix, so nothing can get lost in there, but the backdoor has no ending. In fact, the other end of your asshole is your mouth! So making sure anything that goes into a butt has a secure base is incredibly important! Please don’t end up on Sex Sent Me to the ER.

Impact Play Pervertibles

You’ve heard of spanking with a wooden spoon, but what about spatulas, meat mallets, books, shoes or even rolling pins? Blindfold your partner and play a game of “what am I hitting you with now?” Make sure you start slowly and build up intensity. You want to make sure you’re giving your bottom proper warm up, and make sure they enjoy the feeling before increasing force. As always, it’s best to use these implements on yourself before trying them on someone else, to give you a first hand idea of exactly how they feel. They can hurt much more than you’d expect.

Think of clothespins, chip clips, and even two chopsticks held together with a rubber band. 

Paddling your partner with a household item allows you both to sample the sensation without investing in specialized gear. If you learn that you both love it, there are gorgeous impact items created just for spanking. And shopping for these sex toys together can be a whole new kind of foreplay. It can also add to the details of the scene. If you’re a school boy in the scene, they can balance books on their head while you spank them with a ruler! Or, make them read aloud as you toy with their body—punishing the sub whenever they lose focus. The devil is in the details.

Pinchy Pervertibles 

If you’re craving some pinches, there are tons of items at your disposal. Just proceed with caution. Most of these at-home ones don’t have intensity control, and really pack a pinch. That is one big benefit of buying actual nipple clamps, you can control how tight you make them. You can create the mildest sensations by using them to grip flesh without completely releasing them (but be careful not to lose your grip.) Think of clothespins, chip clips, and even two chopsticks held together with a rubber band. 

If your partner craves more intensity, you can gently release your fingers, leaving the clothespin in place on their inner thigh or stomach. You can get even bolder and apply these sex toys to nipples or genitals, but I wouldn’t start there. Be advised that lots of people find clothespins too painful to be fun, so proceed with caution if you want to try this.

Take the roll of plastic wrap out of the box then go ahead and roll your partner up like a joint

Bondage Pervertibles

Plastic wrap bondage! Take the roll of plastic wrap out of the box then go ahead and roll your partner up like a joint — just make sure they have a soft surface to fall onto. It works well to attach someone very securely to a pole or chair. You can also wrap it around their forearms, thighs, or calves for instant double-limb bondage. Even consider tying a toy to them with plastic wrap. Wands work the best because the long handle is perfect to attach it to a thigh. Just pick up some inexpensive safety scissors so you can safely free them afterward.

Don’t forget that there are so many interesting stops along the way between clothed and naked. Clothing makes quickly accessible restraints. Trap your lover in their shirt as they’re pulling it off. Just grab the fabric and twist just as they get it to their arms for quick wrist bondage, or snag it before it’s over their head for a makeshift blindfold or hood. Other pieces of clothing can be useful, too. Try belts, stockings, or tights to tie wrists or ankles. Your closet’s the limit!

Sensation Play Pervertibles

Ice is the most popular sensation tool, and it’s also the easiest to get. Held over your blindfolded partner, it will drip cold water onto them at random intervals. Stroked over their back, it can send a shock that is a turn-on for some people. For a truly novel sensation, pop it in your mouth before you go down on your lover, or for a less intense experience, a sip of cold water before you put your mouth on someone is plenty. 

Just a word of caution, don’t put ice straight onto skin, as it could stick. Run it under water for a second before you use it, and don’t over-ice your lover. Keep the ice moving!

Be prepared to get excited in the kitchen supplies aisle on your next Target visit. 

Skin craves variety, so using makeup or hair brushes to run along the skin can be a new exciting sensation. Anything can be used. The inner elbow, the back of your knee, your armpit—everywhere the skin is thin will have the nerve ending close to the surface. Running a variety of things over your skin can create a wide range of sensations. Try a wet washcloth, a tennis ball, finger nails, velvet gloves, latex gloves, etc!

Warm towels are a great way to change things up. This trick is out of this world when applied to a partner’s sensitive spots. Add a little pressure and motion, and it will draw moans. Even to just create a warm environment to relax yourself or your partner, adding warmth is another way to play with sensation. Have you ever tried masturbating while laying on a heating pad? It’s such a cozy time.

If you’re looking to try drip candles, but don’t have any on hand, check your local grocery store for saint candles. What you’re looking for is soy-based candles because they are the safest candles to use and they cool the most quickly on contact. Plus, they’re less likely to cause skin irritation. Paraffin candles will burn hotter if you want a more intense experience, but avoid beeswax. It will likely burn the skin. Keep in mind the closer or further away you hold the candle, the more or less intense the wax will feel.

Let your imagination run wild

Creativity is sexy. So start looking around your apartment with rekindled interest. Maybe you’ll Marie Kondo your house and in the process find some accessories for your next sexy time. Be prepared to get excited in the kitchen supplies aisle on your next Target visit. 


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