When it comes to sex toys, it’s important to remember that they are not a one-size-fits-all proposition; what works for me may not work for you. This becomes especially important when we consider that we all have differing physical capabilities. Sometimes that fact falls by the wayside when we are talking about sex, leaving folks with disabilities out in the cold.
The good news is these days we have more sex toy options than ever. This means more choices for people with differing physical needs. Today we’re looking at some of my favorite toys and products that can make pleasure more accessible for folks with disabilities. This list is, by no means, exhaustive but it’s a good place to start. For more information about sex and disability check out one of my favorite books The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability.
Handles can make a huge difference in whether toys work for users.
Now, let’s take a look at some of my favorite products for making sex a bit more comfortable and accessible for everyone.
Toys with Longer Handles
Handles can make a huge difference in whether toys work for users. Whether we are talking about folks who cannot grip a traditional short toy comfortably, people who— due to arm length or belly size— need a little help getting toys in position, or users with back pain, longer handles can offer effective and pleasurable solutions.
Dildos with Handles
When it comes to quality dildos with handles, Tantus makes some fabulous ones! The long handles and comfortable grips on these high-quality silicone dildos make thrusting much easier and more comfortable. These are my favorite suggestions:
Wand massagers are great for folks who need a long handle, powerful vibrations, or both. They can be held in place but can also be used face down, or between pillows or with a toy mount to hold the massager in place comfortably. BONUS: The super-strong vibrations can also help folks dealing with medication side effect like anorgasmia achieve orgasm. Here are some of my favorites:
Thrusting toys can be helpful for folks who enjoy the sensation of thrusting but for whom, due to pain, weakness, grip issues, and more, manually thrusting a toy is uncomfortable.
A potential pitfall of wand massagers is that they can be a bit heavy. For a lighter option with a fabulously ergonomic handle (plus a remote control!), check out the Sola Sync Remote Controlled Rechargeable Silicone Wand.
Toys that Thrust
Thrusting toys can be helpful for folks who enjoy the sensation of thrusting but for whom, due to pain, weakness, grip issues, and more, manually thrusting a toy is uncomfortable. Additionally, some thrusting toys can be used hands-free allowing the user to comfortably lay back and enjoy! Since the introduction of the first Fun Factory Stronic in 2012, thrusting toys have become more common and more accessible for consumers. Here are some awesome choices:
Props are a great choice for folks who experience pain, fatigue or stiffness during sex, or for those with limited mobility who need support to stay in a comfortable position.
No-Erection-Needed Penis Toys
Toys designed for penis stimulation often require an erection and if you are dealing with erectile dysfunction, it can feel like there’s not much available for you. Fortunately there are some products that are effective at bringing about orgasms without an erection:
Lots of people use pillows to help them get comfy during sex but products specifically designed for this use can offer users so much more. With firm textures that maintain their shape (unlike squishy pillows), plush covers, and waterproof liners they are designed to provide maximum support for an optimal sexual experience.
Props are a great choice for folks who experience pain, fatigue or stiffness during sex, or for those with limited mobility who need support to stay in a comfortable position. These are some of my favorites:
Dame Products Pillo Sex Position Wedge
Liberator Jaz Positioning Pillow Wedge
Sportsheets Door Jam Sex Sling
Lubricant can make sex and masturbation more comfortable and pleasurable for everyone but if you or your partner are experiencing changes in personal lubrication, it can be a sexual game changer. There is a wide range of lubricant options out there so lets go over the different types as well as my favorite choices in each category.
Water Based Lubricant
Condom compatible, budget friendly, plays well with toys, water-based lube is kind of a jack-of-all trades. It can also be great if you are looking for a lubricant that creates a cushiony barrier for the skin.
Silicone lubricant is great for sex and masturbation, lasts for ages, and doesn’t get tacky or dissolve in water (so it can be used in the shower)— it’s a real work-horse….with one exception: it should not be used with silicone toys.
Water based with a little bit of silicone, hybrid lubes have the versatility of water based lubes with the staying power of silicone. Plus they have a lovely silky texture.
Oil Based Lubricant
Oil based lubricants come in a variety of textures but my favorites are rich, creamy, and downright decadent. Super slick and long-lasting hese lubricants are ideal for hand play and use with toys. Please not that oil based lubricants are not suitable for use with latex or polyisoprene condoms but can be used with ones made of polyurethane, nitrile, and resin.
Sex should be pleasurable for and accessible to EVERYONE and it’s wonderful to live in a time when we have available to us products that can help facilitate that. This list contains my favorite things but there’s more out there. Explore, experiment, and enjoy the pleasure you deserve!