Smut with Style

Tips for Writing Your Own Erotica

Erotica writing can be a great way to explore your pleasure, keep the spark alive with a lover, and try out new sexual ideas in a safe and comfortable container. Writing your own erotica gives you complete control of the fantasy, allowing you to custom tailor a sexy imaginary experience. 

I write erotica professionally both for entertainment and education (as in my books Girl Sex 101 and texts for the Slutbot app). I also narrate erotica audiobooks, and, yep, write private smutty stories for my partners. In the fifteen years I’ve been working in this genre, I’ve learned a lot about my own turn-ons, and how to relate better to my partners.

It’s natural to feel some trepidation when dipping your nib into the world of erotica writing.

It’s natural to feel some trepidation when dipping your nib into the world of erotica writing. Give yourself permission to embarrass yourself or feel a little silly. Write in a diary with a lock if that helps, or in a password protected file on your computer. Remember, no one ever has to read what you write. That said, once you get comfortable writing your own erotica, you may find that you are proud of your hard work and want to share it, either with the wide world of readers, or with a special someone or two. 

Sexting is just another, shorter, form of erotica.

In fact, many folks already play with erotic writing without even knowing they do, in the form of sexts. Sexting is just another, shorter, form of erotica. If you’re having a hard time figuring out where to start, think about hot sexting sessions you’ve had with a lover. If it feels good, go back through old texts with lovers to find choice juicy bits you’d like to expand upon. Or, consider your dream sexting date. Who would you be texting with? What would you say? This gets at a key part of writing anything— who are you writing for? If it’s just for you, great! If you have an audience in mind, expand on that. Are they kinky or vanilla? Experienced or naive? Down for anything or tiptoeing in? The answers to these questions will help you determine your tone and help you find your personal style. 

Read! 

There are scads of high-quality anthologies collecting erotic stories about anything you can imagine from hotel sex to sword and sorcery fantasy to threesomes.

To write your own erotica, start by taking stock of the sexy stories you already enjoy. There are scads of high-quality anthologies collecting erotic stories about anything you can imagine from hotel sex to sword and sorcery fantasy to threesomes. There are also enormous online forums of free erotica. Check out places like Literotica and An Archive of Our Own, and be prepared to lose a few hours digging for erotic gold. 

When you find stories you like, take some time to consider what it is about the stories that works for you. Is it the characters? The power dynamics? The way the author uses language? Getting clear on what you like stylistically will go a long way to help you write your own erotica. Try reading widely. Read things that relate to what you already know you like, and explore new ways of approaching your established fantasies. 

Erotica Writing Tips

Most writers like to begin with a scenario, perhaps a kink that excites them or a power dynamic that they’d like to try. Once you know what you want the story to be about, you’ll need to populate the scene with characters. Don’t be afraid to get wild. Aliens, monsters, celebrities— it’s your imagination, so give yourself permission to explore. It’s not illegal or immoral to explore your own fantasies in private. Some websites and publishers have terms of service that prevent them from publishing certain content, but you’re allowed to think and write about whatever you want.

...you’re allowed to think and write about whatever you want.

If you struggle to come up with a premise, think about your past sex life. Consider writing a story from one of your favorite sexual experiences. Or, for a creative twist, take a ho-hum sexual interaction from your past and rewrite it to make it hot as hell. Don’t be afraid to explore varying tones. Erotica doesn’t have to be only serious and sexy. My book Bad Dyke is filled with true stories from my sex life, many of which are goofy and light. Erotica can be sweet and silly, dark and disturbing, and everything in between.

Consider point of view (POV). POV describes the perspective of the main character. Is the character telling the story about themself (1st person “I” POV)? Or is a narrator telling the story (3rd person “They”). Erotica is also unique for being one of the few genres that makes good use of the 2nd person “You” POV. Here they all are in order to get a sense of what I’m talking about:

1st Person:  “I shiver as he whispers in my ear.”

2nd Person: “You shiver as he whispers in your ear.”

3rd Person: “They shiver as he whispers in their ear.” 

 

Once you determine your POV, stick to it. Jumping from POV to POV can be confusing. The same goes with tense, i.e. past versus present. 

It’s easy to slip from one tense to another, but keeping it stable is key to writing a cohesive and polished story. Again, an example:

Past tense: “I knelt on the ground and lifted up my skirt.”

Present tense: “I kneel on the ground and lift up my skirt.”

Occasionally erotica writers can use future tense for good effect, e.g. “I will kneel on the ground and lift up my skirt.” Future tense is often used when sexting to create a fantasy for a partner or to elaborate on a scenario you’d like to explore with a partner.  

Take time to describe what is exciting about the sex using all your senses.

When fleshing out your story, lean into what makes literature special: getting inside the characters’ heads. This is why erotica can feel so much more intimate and exciting than visual porn. Not only can you as a writer capture what something looks like, but also how it tastes, smells, and feels. Take time to describe what is exciting about the sex using all your senses. Consider the details that will make your story specific and arousing. If, for instance, smell is important to you, explore the scent of the room, and how your character’s body smells, and how those change as things progress in the story. Be careful, as it can be easy to get bogged down in unnecessary detail. So focus on the details that make your story unique and exciting. 

Similarly, being able to understand the headspace of your character is a great skill. If, for instance, your character is trying out a new kink, consider is this their first time or their hundredth? How do they feel about it? Are they scared? Excited? In control? Powerless? What happens in their mind when their partner pulls out a specific implement or takes off a piece of clothing? Emotions are an integral part of sex, so take some time to explore the interiority of your characters. Once you get comfortable writing about a character’s headspace and sensory experience, you can challenge yourself by trying to describe new things or perhaps things you’ve never tried yourself. Maybe you’ll want to try writing the experience of subspace, or a kink that you don’t actually find sexy but you know many people do.

If you get stuck, use the magic question, “Why?” Why did they follow the vampire to her lair? Why did I get so wet when he said “beg?” Why did he agree to put on the cheerleading uniform? “Why” can help you recenter the narrative on the erotic turn-on on and keep the story on track. 

Consider the format. Short stories are the most common form of erotica, but they aren’t the only ones. Some writers find satisfaction in flash fiction (i.e. very short fiction) or poetry. Writers who prefer long- form may want to explore the complex dynamics or multiple scenarios that novels, novellas, and scripts allow for.

Short stories are the most common form of erotica, but they aren’t the only ones.

Erotica for Couples (and more!) 

Erotica can be a great way to explore sexuality solo, but it can be just as fun to share with a partner or two. 

Here are some ideas for scaling up your smut:

Pass the Dildo: Start by writing the first scene in an erotica story, then hand it off to your partner to add what happens next.

They Said/They Said: Write the first scene to an erotica story then have your partner write the same scene from a different character’s point of view. Go back and forth to create a fleshed- out, dynamic narrative. 

Give the gift of erotica:  When my partner and I were first dating, he wrote an erotic story starring the two of us. We wrote back and forth in a He Said/She Said style until the story was complete. Then the following Christmas, he typed up the story in a lovely pair of fonts, printed it out, and bound it in an elegant, handmade book. It’s still one of my cherished possessions from the early days of our love. 

Erotica Storytime: Find a story to read aloud to one another. Perhaps it’s your own erotica, or a story you found that’s particularly titillating. 

You can choose to use it as a tool to explore your own desires, a way of communicating your desires to others, or even a method for helping other people discover their sexuality.

Erotica can be private or public. You can choose to use it as a tool to explore your own desires, a way of communicating your desires to others, or even a method for helping other people discover their sexuality. Like anything, it can feel awkward and difficult at first. But as with any art, practice will improve your skills and boost your confidence. Read, write, and enjoy. 

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