Quick! When you close your eyes and imagine a sex toy, what do you see? If you use toys casually, maybe you imagine the basics: a wand, a bullet, a stroker. Maybe you imagine your favorite toy or one you’ve had your eye on for a while. Chances are, your first instinct is to imagine something simple and conventional and created solely for your pleasure (instead of, say, the vibrating toothbrush or shower faucet you might’ve started out with, or your hands, or any part of a partner’s body.) That’s pretty fair — I think I would too. But the truth is, culturally, our ideas of what toys are, how they should work, and what they look like are pretty narrow. And as technology advances, there have been amazing advancements in the world of pleasure products, with toys that function in a completely different way than the rabbits and vibes of years past.
The problem is, those toys are still cloaked in mystery, and as appealing as they are, they’re intimidating and confusing as anything unfamiliar might be. But no more! I tested out three of Spectrum’s most intriguing, quote-unquote nontraditional toys; the Fleurotics Lily, the Love Hamma Thrusting Vibrator, and the Fantasy Ultimate Oral Sex Simulator, to see what I can learn, and to give you an honest review.
These three experimental toys reacquainted me with the imaginative side of sex that a drive-killing pandemic and a host of wands and bullets obscured.
Honestly, I loved every part of writing this piece. As someone who’s been reviewing toys since 2016, I’ve settled into a routine with a specific genre of toys that works for me. It’s been a while since I’ve seen something fully new, or been surprised. These three experimental toys reacquainted me with the imaginative side of sex that a drive-killing pandemic and a host of wands and bullets obscured. Testing them out was a whole new process, one that was clumsy, surprising, exciting, and at times, either actually really funny or really educational. They reminded me how even someone who basically writes about pleasure for a living can get disconnected from the laid-back moments in sex, how it’s an avenue for excitement and intrigue.
Ever since the fateful day when Spectrum first posted a video of the Fantasy Ultimate Pleasure Oral Sex Simulator in motion, I was obsessed. Call it love at first sight. I sent the video to all my friends, discussed it whenever I found anyone sex-positive, shared it on my IG story with heart eyes. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t try it earlier, besides the fact that the technology was so unique, I didn’t feel like I had an excuse to really buy it.
Many of us are used to only investing toy money in something reliable and familiar. Like many other toys on the market, the Fantasy Simulator promises an experience similar to oral sex, the designers have taken an entirely new approach to achieve it, one that might be…. a bit intimidating at first glance. The toy is essentially a triple threat: one end is a curved dildo, and the other end is maybe one of the most adventurous designs I’ve seen lately — a flickering silicone tongue and two different options for a wide ‘mouth’, that if you attach on, will literally suck the skin in and create a closed area.
Tangentially, once, at a pleasure workshop I attended, a friend offered up a wise sex philosophy: never hook up with anyone you can’t stop midway and laugh with.
In the planning stages of this review, I decided I’d do a “no instructions” test. As a rather impulsive toy user, I might briefly skim a new product’s instruction manual, but usually, just turn it on and stare at it. I was curious if these three uniquely designed toys would be as straightforward and intuitive.
Tangentially, once, at a pleasure workshop I attended, a friend offered up a wise sex philosophy: never hook up with anyone you can’t stop midway and laugh with. My first test run of the Fantasy Simulator quickly proved my instruction-free strategy would be unsuccessful, though it definitely fulfilled the pleasure philosophy. My first mistake was trying to screw on the mouth attachment while the toy was already on: the tongue was already flickering, so it was an intimidating experience. My second was cranking it up to the highest mode right away. I’m a fan of intense vibration and usually get bored by the lowest settings, so once I got the mouth attached (you just need to turn the toy off and you’re fine), I cranked it up.
Terrible idea. It latches well. Like, really well. After the shock died down and I pulled it off my body, I burst out laughing. It was a good reminder to slow down, and that instructions sometimes exist for a reason.
The truth is, you shouldn’t let that story of my first impression deter you. Just because it takes a little work to figure out doesn’t mean it’s not rewarding once you get the hang of it. The Simulator is one of the most fascinating, strange toys I’ve ever used, and though watching it work was wholly surreal, it was also pretty enjoyable.
The “oral” end has two options. You can use it with just the tongue, or pair it with either of the two mouths. If the attachments are on, you can use them with the tongue or opt to keep it off and just use the suction feature. The tongue, which is made of a very solid, almost rigid, silicone flickers at four different speeds (slow, medium, fast, and pattern), straight up and down, with a nice rhythm and a comfortable amount of pressure. In my opinion, it actually felt more like a finger on its own, though the suction mouth changes the sensation.
While other oral toys’ small mouths provide direct stimulation to one specific area, the Fantasy Simulator’s large amount of contact area and intuitive machinery make this feel remarkably similar to oral sex with a partner.
When you place it on your area of choice, it begins slowly sucking the skin upwards, towards the tongue. If it pulls it up too high, the tongue automatically stops, and the machine releases you. While other oral toys’ small mouths provide direct stimulation to one specific area, the Fantasy Simulator’s large amount of contact area and intuitive machinery make this feel remarkably similar to oral sex with a partner. It’s a bit sloppy, a bit loud (it whirs, for sure), and a mix between confusing and fascinating.
Finally, the insertable end of the toy is a little over 5 inches, with a nice curve and a bit of contouring for a nice texture. It has ten patterns for vibration, which rounds up the toy at a total of four motors, and 20 patterns total. If this all sounds a little confusing, don’t worry — the design is remarkably simple. Everything is controlled by four buttons. Once you get it working, there are few distractions.
Are all the kinks worked out in this one? Maybe not – but it feels like the prototype for one of the coolest toys ever created, and I would recommend it to anyone who feels like they’ve done it all.
BUY IT IF: You’re an oral sex enthusiast who’s looking for a new experience
Rating: ⅘ vibes
I’ve seen some big toys before. My favorite external vibrators are wands, and my collection of insertable toys has steadily grown larger in both size and quantity. But as I took the Love Hamma out of its packaging, I was genuinely shocked. At a whopping 11 inches altogether (6 of which are insertable and *girthy*), this might be an ambitious toy for a beginner. But, all the same, I’m grateful this review made us cross paths because it is a near-flawless toy, and my personal favorite out of the three.
For one thing, the design is just aesthetically brilliant. I got it in blue and the rich, gorgeous cobalt makes me happy whenever I see it. The silicone feels downright luxurious, which is great for any toy, especially one with insertable and external elements. And, since it’s literally designed to look like a hammer, I think the designers had some extra freedom: without the pressure to make it representational, all their time and energy seems to have been devoted to maximizing its uses and making it work smoothly.
Whichever you decide, the toy’s texture and size lend an amazing, filling experience with a lot of sensation.
The Hamma is also a triple threat of a toy with 10 vibrational speeds and 10 thrusting functions throughout each part of the toy. Its handle is a thick, swirled dildo — you can choose if you want it to be straight-ended or curved for G- or P-spot stimulation. Whichever you decide, the toy’s texture and size lend an amazing, filling experience with a lot of sensation. Plus, it can thrust: you’ll still have to maneuver it in and out if you so choose, but there are vertical vibrations throughout the dildo. You can even use the handle as an external vibrator, laying it horizontally to cover more skin. The other side of the Hamma has two different external vibrators, and hopefully, you’ll forgive me for not knowing carpentry terms while I describe this. The flat, coin-sized side you’d use to hit the nails is nice to leave directly on whatever area you so choose, or rub around: it’s sort of like the pad of a thumb. The side you’d use to pull the nails out is comparable to a rabbit vibe, in that you can surround your area of choice with it and get stimulation all around. That’s four or five uses already, and I haven’t even described all the fantasy elements: there are lots of sexy puns or roleplay you could use with a hammer that could keep you plenty busy.
Buy it if: You want a toy you can do it all with, you’re a fan of roleplay
Rating: 5/5 vibes
Chances are, if you’ve spent a bit of time following indie boutiques, you know about the Fleurotics Lily. What started via an Indiegogo campaign to ‘break the mold of traditional vibrators’, quickly reached massive acclaim, selling out quickly whenever your favorite local boutique stocked it. And you can see why! The toy was literally created to look good and work better. It’s gorgeous, enough so that you could display it on your mantelpiece with the untrained eye just guessing it’s a fun, silicone sculpture. Of the three toys I’m reviewing, I imagine in many ways this might be the least intimidating: though its shape is indeed untraditional, its functions are solely those of a vibrator: no thrusting, sucking or shaking here.
That being said, I’m still happy to decode it. The Lily’s name is appropriate: it’s designed to look floral, with a 4-inch pistil as the center of vibrations, and a fleshy, 3-inch leaf bordering it. This toy is beautiful up close, with its velvety, lilac silicone, little knobs up and down the stem, and lots of little details on the leaf. The famous floral design is aesthetic, but also offers several unique functions: the Lily is essentially a bullet with a privacy layer. While many vibrators in this size range can only be used externally (no base means no safe penetration) the leaf ends as a stopping point so you can take full advantage of the texture. It’s also smaller than the average dildo, so if you like penetration and sensation without the size, this could be a toy for you. If you choose to insert it, you can rest the leaf, which is pretty flexible, in either direction and add some extra vibration. Unfortunately, it doesn’t move much on its own, but especially on the higher settings, it still transfers some vibration. I actually read through the whole instruction manual trying to see if there was something I could do to make it flicker more, but it really is just there to provide some aesthetics and act as a sort of cover: whether you’re new to masturbating and want to watch it but are a bit squeamish about your body, or want to give yourself, your partner, or your audience (wink wink) a bit of a tease, you can maneuver the Lily to cover up certain areas and get some extra stimulation. But really, the power comes from the bullet, which has an impressive range of power, is quiet, and feels — ahem — very nice, externally at any angle.
Buy it if: you like your sex to be like art, you’re bored of the classic bullet
Rating: 4/5 vibes
We know by now sex doesn’t need to look any specific way, and by that logic, toys shouldn’t either. At the end of the day, what is a pleasure product for if not to enhance your sex life and help you do things a body can’t? These toys may very well represent a new chapter in the toy industry: body-safe and aesthetically pleasing, yes, but also pushing the limit, testing new types of technology, and creating new sensations. And they’re a nice reminder that no matter how comfortable you are with toys or how many you’ve researched, there’s always something you can still learn or experiment with.