My name is Eric and I REALLY like playing with sex toys. I’m a male identifying, heteroflexible person who would consider myself a relationship anarchist. I don’t always make a distinction between lovers and friends. That may sound complicated, but it’s not that difficult. It mostly means there are a lot of discussions about consent. Since there are few pre-agreed boundaries, it’s an ask every time scenario. For me, it also means that penetrative sex is not the standard way I connect intimately in my relationships. Since I carry HSV2, I always want to make sure my partners are super comfortable and educated with my diagnosis. Often that means non-genital play at first, which I love. So since finger vibes have helped me expand my definitions of what sex entails, I wanted to write about some toys that are great for body play, also great for genital play, and are easy to introduce into your sex life.
Whether you are in a new relationship or an existing relationship where toys might be a new thing, it’s not only important that everyone is comfortable with the idea, but also the application. It’s for this reason finger vibrators are a great place to start. They blend the experience of regular physical touch with the enhanced pleasure of vibration. Usually toys in this category are on the less expensive side, they are small and transportable, and take a little less know-how.
For this review, I decided to focus on three very similar toys:
In order to test the toys I decided to take all three with me for a few days and see who wanted to play with them.
All three toys are under $100, silicone and rechargeable, but they vary in patterns and ease of cleanability. In order to test the toys, I decided to take all three with me for a few days and see who wanted to play with them. They are so small that I was able to carry them all in a box smaller than an iphone comes in.
Favorite Toy, Hitachi Magic Wand
It was Laura’s Birthday and we happen to be laying around in Prospect Park. Laura and I have a purely platonic friendship, so when the box of toys came out, the intention was entirely for silly fun. We started first by touching all three toys. Immediately, she gravitated towards the Fin’s subtle mint green color, luxuriously soft silicone feel and unique shape. We turned it on and the vibration sounded unlike most vibrators. It has a mechanical sound that kind of knocks, different than your average buzzy toy. She was unimpressed by the surface area, but she did like the feel of it around her neck and collarbone. Its noise made it less pleasurable nearer to her ears and head.
Then we turned on the Yumi. At its lowest setting, it was too strong for cute body play in her opinion. However, because of its rumbly massager strength, even at its small size, it was useful as a therapeutic massager on her back. We moved on to the Aria Mi. This toy starts out the most gentle, great for delicate parts, but can also get nearly as strong as the Yumi, however not as rumbly.
Since these toys are so cute and discreet, she was able to throw a sheet over herself and give it a go over the clothes, right there in the park.
After enough cute friend play, Laura wanted to take the toys for a spin on her own, it was her Birthday after all… Again these toys are so cute and discreet, she was able to throw a sheet over herself and give it a go over her clothes, right there in the park. After a short test with the Fin, she decided the shape was not really her fav and there was a difference in vibration from the front to the back side that she couldn’t quite figure out.
She then tried out the Aria Mi. She tried it a few different ways but she couldn’t find the sweet spot with its shape either. The vibration on it was adequate, but she already knew that the Yumi had the extra strength that she preferred… her favorite toy was a Hitachi after all. Saving the best for last, she grabbed the Yumi, turned it on and just lay it flat on the spot. You could see immediately this was the toy for her. She turned in up to the high setting and within a minute, her eyes rolled back, enjoying a giggly moment of pleasure next to her best friend laughing with her. Success.
Favorite Toy, Yoni Crystal Egg
After a cute first date at Ikea (we made it through with flying colors), intimacy vibes were high. So when we got back to the house, things got physical. I asked Caitlin if she would be interested in playing with toys. She was nervous because she didn’t have a lot of experience with vibrators, her favorite toy is a Yoni egg. She told me that she can typically can climax easily without toys. When I pulled out the finger toys, her first thought was how cute and un-intimidating they were. Considering this was our first time together physically, I suggested we try all three toys on her body and see how she felt about it.
The first toy I took out was the Fin. She also responded to its soft silicone skin and clever shape. I started on low on her chin and brows, took it up to medium around her temple and neck and got it to high on her shoulders and chest. She enjoyed the sensation difference from front to back. Three settings is all the Fin has and no patterns.
Next we tried the Yumi. She noticed that it was quieter than the fin only on its lowest setting but otherwise louder on the rest. We experimented with success on the lower settings but the high setting on the Yumi was just too intense for body play and ended up tickling her. After high, you get into the patterns, which she enjoyed on her body.
Last was the Aria Mi. She loved the different variations of touch on the shape of this toy. There is a protruding ridged area, a curved middle section and fatter bottom. You can get a few different intensities on each setting because of it. The lowest setting was oddly louder than the rest. The second setting seemed like a smoother vibration, even if it was stronger. She found the Aria Mi caused less tickle feelings than the Yumi on settings 1-3, but the 4th started to get to her and the 5th she just found unpleasurable and buzzy. After 5 you get to the pulse settings. It was a tie between the Yumi and the Aria Mi for patterns.
You can use external toys without lube, but slippery is almost always better.
Feeling warmed up, we made a decision to continue playing with the toys vaginally. A great thing about external toys like these finger vibes is that they are super portable. They can easily fit in your jacket pocket. Don’t forget a travel size lube! You can use external toys without lube, but slippery is almost always better.
The Fin was a hit on all three settings. She preferred the stronger vibrating side, to the broader other side. One of my favorite techniques with these hand toys is to hold them in your palm and vibrate your fingers while you insert them to the G-spot. Unfortunately the Fin was not strong enough to feel the vibration through my hand.
Next up was the Aria Mi again. With all the different surfaces, we were easily able to find a position she loved. Settings 2 and 3 were the best for clit stimulation on this toy. Strong enough to climax, but not too buzzy. On the mid to high settings, this toy does a great job vibrating the entire hand and fingers, especially because of where you can hold this toy. The Fin and Yumi both have to be held at the tips of the fingers, but the Aria Mi has more versatility. You can hold it in either direction and you can slide it down closer to the palm. I switched into pulse mode, but for her, it was overstimulation.
I saved the Yumi for last knowing it was the most powerful. While in body play, she noticed a difference in sensation from rolling the toy side to side, vaginally she really felt the difference front to back due to the little nub they designed on the front tip. This toy is definitely powerful enough to vibrate your hand, it’s actually so powerful it feels like a small wand, but its shape makes it difficult to hold and penetrate with your fingers, as described. That being said, with two hands… you can get creative. We got into the pulse settings and it was a different experience than the Aria Mi. In this case, setting the Yumi on a pattern and just resting it in the right place was the recipe for success!
Overall, each product succeeded in something.
The Blush Aria Mi, which is the most affordable toy, was the best at being a playful, versatile toy. With settings that go from gentle to intense and great pulse patterns, you can use this toy anywhere on the body. It also has the most variation by turning the shape. If you are experienced in touch and physical feedback, I think this is the toy you want. It has an additional bonus, the toy is actually a bullet inside of a great handheld shape. The two benefits of this are that you can remove the bullet and boil the silicone for easy cleaning. You can also put your favorite bullet in there!
Part of the experience is the adoration of this beautiful object.
The Vedo Yumi is a finger/hand held pebble with the power of a medium sized wand. This toy is not as versatile in shape, but that’s not really its strength. It is a “set it and forget it” type of intensity. So if you are not the most experienced in touch play, this might be a great toy to get started. Strap in on and let it do most of the work. You can’t lose! It also seems like the best choice if you are using this on your own vagina. This toy is fully submersible, but you still can’t boil anything with electronics.
The Dame Fin is the most high end product of the three. It is a unique vibration that is unlike most commercial vibes. I’m not saying it’s better or worse, just a different feel. Part of the experience is the adoration of this beautiful object. Listen, some people are more attracted to visual stimulus than to touch, which is completely valid. It is the least versatile of the three in shape and in technology, without any pulse patterns and only 3 settings. It’s also not submersible, which I personally think is a mistake in the design. The company that makes the fin is a much smaller, american company with good politics. That is a good reason to consider buying it, in my opinion.
So, if you are looking to start a toy collection for your relationship or for consensual experimentation with new partners, these are all great choices to begin with. I’d also suggest these if you are looking to buy your partner or friend a gift. I am often asked for suggestions on “toys for boys”. I think there is a misunderstanding that people would only want toys to stimulate their genitals and butt, when in fact it’s often also the emotional, mental stimulation of wielding a toy that is exciting. Give them the gift of giving pleasure! Let them build their confidence with these playful, external vibrators and everyone wins!