I developed most of the cards for Hedonism & Debauchery in 2018 to add some random spice to my dating life. After getting some great responses to the concepts, I decided to flesh it out into an actual product prototype in 2019 to help others connect with their desires. That prototype sat on the shelf for a little over a year due to my busy photography & tv production career, along with several other projects I didn’t have time for. When COVID hit, and the world shut down, it was the perfect opportunity to put my full energy into making the game great. We officially launched in September 2020 at the Sex Down South Virtual conference during the height of the pandemic. It was my third year presenting an SDScon, which quickly became the springboard to finding my voice as a pleasure advocate and embodiment expert.
As a multimedia professional and storyteller, I have been invited into many intimate and special moments in people’s lives. The one constant I’ve found is that everyone wants to look and feel their best, from public figures to families getting a portrait done. Another observation was that you could literally talk about almost anything through media spaces except pleasure, sex, and sensuality. I found it incoherent being so concerned about our bodies and appearance but unable to freely express ourselves.
I learned from educators, enthusiasts, and experts alike that many people have difficulty connecting with desire.
Something changed after years of having the pleasure of collecting all these unique once-in-a-lifetime exercises. I was invited to shoot and speak at the 2018 Sex Down South conference. There I learned from educators, enthusiasts, and experts alike that many people have difficulty connecting with desire. Everyone wanted to have fun, but most people had no idea how to ask for it without feeling judged, weird, or systematically oppressed by their desires. Shortly after, I was inspired by the ever-evolving experiences in my personal life to develop this game as a way to help with that conversation.
I was influenced by many factors, growing up in the “Real Old ATL,” going to wild parties, homecoming, Battle of the Bands, the skating rink, listening to Kilo Ali, and watching ridiculously fun raunchy movies. However, not all of my inspirations were so enjoyable. A significant moment in my journey was having people close to me experience sexual assault in various ways. I found little help or education around ways to help or re-finding one’s own autonomy after those experiences. These experiences and the Me Too movement heavily inspired me to create a way to change the way we have the conversation around asking for consent. I’ve also been influenced over the last few years by sex educators like Marla Stewart, Tia Mosley, Jamie Grant, Midori, Nikki Morgan, and so many others.
We wanted to encourage enthusiastic consent by allowing people to practice giving and rescinding consent in active and fun ways.
Hedonism & Debauchery is a beer and pretzels shuffle, pull, and play style game. We wanted to encourage enthusiastic consent by allowing people to practice giving and rescinding consent in active and fun ways. The most important cards in the deck are the consent & stop/pineapple cards. You flip those over and keep them handy as reminders to establish and maintain a safe space. Next, shuffle and spread the cards out like a fan. If you’re in a group, make a circle and have each person pull a card and read it aloud when it’s their turn. There are three categories of cards; Questions, Scenarios, and Social Challenges. Question cards can be answered by the reader or another player. When playing scenario cards, you fill in the blanks by explaining how the fantasy would go. Some social challenges call for the player to actually get up and play or act out. If the game isn’t wild enough for you, I installed 4 blank checks for you to think of something wild and ask for it knowing everyone has the option to consent or opt-out.
It also works as an educational tool for parents seeking ways to connect with their hormonal teens. Let’s face it, trying to talk to most teenagers about sex can be challenging. Their hormones are going crazy, and they feel awkward and embarrassed to speak with their parents or trusted adults about sex or other sensitive topics. The scenario cards will help you understand how your teen may think through certain situations. You can use songs, books, and movies you’re familiar with to make an ongoing smooth conversation. Our game uses language that helps make it an actual discussion, not “THE TALK.”
The point is to be sexy, silly, and debauched, just be open to the inevitable fun and try not to take yourself too seriously.
The best part of Hedonism and Debauchery is that even if you aren’t an expert at something or don’t have “proper tools,” it’s ok to just be creative and enjoy the play. The point is to be sexy, silly, and debauched, just be open to the inevitable fun and try not to take yourself too seriously. What’s also great is if you like to play with toys and props, this game will give you several opportunities to pull things out of your slut bag to use. If you follow @makeupandsin, you’ll have plenty of ideas to choose from.
What’s also unique about this game compared to anything else you may own is it works with two to as many as eighty players. It doesn’t matter if you’re vetting a potential interest on a video/audio call, playing with a current partner, an intimate group of friends, starting an orgy, or just want to have a fun night at an event, this game is going to give you the results you’re looking for. It never plays the same way twice because you never know who will get what card or the mood the day brings with it. The game works as a gateway to spice things up or to try new things you never thought to try before. It also gives you plenty of excuses to pull out sex toys and shoot your shot because “the cards made me do it… I can’t help it if you like it!”
Our goal in creating Hedonism and Debauchery was to make pleasure accessible and fun for more people. We created it for those struggling to stand up for themselves or speak their truth, those who carry shame around wanting to seek pleasure, and those who are just starting their empowerment journey. You are not alone, and we hope this game helps you on the path to exploring and learning more about yourselves. This is a deck of possibilities for an endlessly pleasure-filled life.