Top 5 Ways to Play with Remote Control Sex Toys

How do you use remote control sex toys—and why are they so hot? You may not understand until you try one. Turns out, there’s something incredibly erotic about being controlled without actually being touched. Your partner can be almost a voyeur: even watching you without directly interacting with you. While you’re submitting to their control, wondering what they might do to you next. All through a vibrator!

And for solo play, the appeal of remote controls is simple: speed changes without the need to dig around for a control button on the toy itself. Plus, with app-controlled toys, you get custom pattern creation and other nifty features, like syncing the vibes to music. 

Are you looking to play with control more? See if it turns *you* on? Here are some ideas to start…

Many folks find anal toys extra “naughty,” so that’s part of the reason why to use them to break up the monotony of vacuuming or mowing the lawn.

1. At Home: Foreplay & in the Bedroom

I’ll begin with the best intro to remote control toys: just chilling in your home. Hanging out. Or, if you have a partner, letting them toy with you and watch your reactions before you two make it steamier. 

The Svakom wearable vibes Elva and Ella are good first choices because they can be either clit or vaginal toys, depending on your preference. Both are “love egg”-style bullets. But Elva is remote-control only, while Ella is app-controlled (with an easy-to-press control button in its tail) for $25 more. 

For a toy that does even more, consider the We-Vibe Chorus. This is a very rumbly “C-shape” vibe—designed to be worn for hands-free clit *and* G-spot stimulation during sex. Chorus doesn’t have to be just for penis-in-vagina sex, though: it’s incredibly fun to wear around the house. (I need to conduct more spandex explorations with this baby.) Or let your partner squeeeeeze the squishable Squeeze Remote during other kinds of play, like blowjobs, anal, or bondage. As they say, you’re only limited by your imagination.

2. Your Chores Just Got More Interesting

Are there people in the world who like putting up laundry? Maybe, but I’m sure not one of them. Remote control toys add a *spark* to whatever chore you’ve been putting off. Gotta liven things up sometimes! Listening to music or podcasts or whatever helps, but having a vibrating butt plug in too? Even better. 

Many folks find anal toys extra “naughty,” so that’s part of the reason why to use them to break up the monotony of vacuuming or mowing the lawn. You may also be like me and find butt plugs less distracting that clit (or penis!) toys: I can still stay somewhat focused on my task. A butt plug won’t make me need to stop what I’m doing, should I get too turned on. Plus, plugs are designed to stay in place securely, since the rectum is a vacuum. (It can draw objects inward if they don’t have safely flared bases, like all Spectrum’s booty toys do.) 

Good vibrating plug choices with a remote control for hands-off speed changing?

The Nu Sensuelle Power Plug comes equipped with the truly strong vibes typical of this brand—found in even the smaller Nu Sensuelle bullets. The Power Plug’s 3-button remote control lets you flip more easily through the twenty different vibe functions. 

Or, for vibes that travel deep and app control too, check out We-Vibe Ditto. Ditto has a rounded bulb to massage the prostate or to put pressure up against the back wall of the vagina.

3. Sex Toys in Public???

Would you like to explore being turned on public…controlled…maybe even made to orgasm—but discreetly? Remote control panty vibrators, vaginal vibes, and plugs are perfect for adding a rush to a typical date or night at the club. Heightened sensation, an extra thrill, a boost of adrenaline as you try out something slightly scandalous. 

I recommend testing these toys out at home prior to going out, so you’ll understand your body’s reactions to the vibe itself. This pre-testing will also let you understand the vibe’s noise level. 

You may want to bring a storage bag along with, in case you feel the need to stop using the vibe at any time. This is even more true if you’re wanting to wear a vibrating (or not vibrating!) butt plug outside your home—a very popular choice.

For panty vibes, the one that stays in place best is the We-Vibe Moxie. This deliciously rumbly little vibe clips easily onto any underwear, through a magnetic oval. Moxie has a helluva lot of intensity options via the included remote control. Or use We-Vibe’s free We-Connect app, where you drag your finger up and down to increase/decrease power inside any function; try out the new touch function; or sync to ambient noises (more on that in the next section!). 

Then there’s the Nu Sensuelle Pleasure Panty, a super-charged clit vibe. It’s unique because both the panty vibe and its remote control vibrate, in sync with each other. This way, the person controlling the vibe knows exactly what their partner is feeling. Use the included drawstring thong, or slip the Pleasure Panty vibe into your own underwear. Tight, supportive underwear ensure the snuggest, most slip-free fit. Because of its strength, this vibe is not noise-free, so you may want to reserve it for a louder setting (like a club) if you’re wearing it outside your home. 

Speaking of sounds…

4. Groove to the Music

Boom-bada-boom-bada-boom! Having your vibrator synced to the music playing around you is super-fun. You can really get into the groove, whether you’re at the disco or in your living room. 

OhMiBod paved the way in this tech, with its Club panty vibes. Today OhMiBod’s most popular product is the Esca 2. This rumbly vibe is inserted vaginally, then wraps around—so its bulb rests on the G-spot, while the antenna-containing tail remains outside. See my Esca review here for a comparison of this toy and its big competitor, the Lovense Lush 2 (a.k.a. that pink thing the camgirls use). 

And of course We-Vibe wanted to keep up with the game: the We-Connect app now has a “Beat” function for music syncing too. You can now see any app-compatible We-Vibe’s intensity rising and falling along with music playing around you (or through your phone’s music library). Bring your Moxie along to the next concert you attend and see what happens?

Syncing to music is a premium feature—just like long-distance app control. No surprise, then, that OhMiBod Esca 2 and We-Vibe app toys are also the ones for…

Long-distance toys enable the first partner to connect the toy to their phone app, then send a pairing request to whoever they want.

5. Long-Distance Thrills

Maybe your partner is traveling for work. Maybe you’ve had to leave home for an extended period of time. Or maybe you’re one of the millions of people who’ve found themselves in a long-distance relationship, either short-term or long-term. 

Long-distance toys enable the first partner to connect the toy to their phone app, then send a pairing request to whoever they want. The two people can be a mile or ten thousand miles away from each other, as long as both have cellular service and Bluetooth enabled on their phones. 

Bluetooth is the tech that pairs the vibrator to the first phone, the main point of contact. Unfortunately, Bluetooth connectivity can sometimes be problematic: it’s radio waves, which travel through air fine—but through flesh, not always as well. And some apps just don’t work with some devices: for example, the We-Connect app hated my partner’s 3 year-old-phone, and we were constantly struggling to initiate (and then keep up) connection. He had to finally get a new device before we could actually use the new version of the app together!


“What’s the deal with remote control toys?” I wondered before I tried a wide range of them

Well, first, they’re FUN. It’s so easy to get bogged down in whatever pile of things you need to get done in life, and lose the ability to unwind without being glued to premade TV/YouTube/Hulu/Netflix/etc. programming. Whereas remote control vibes bring out the “toy” in sex toy: they let you play, mess around, and just plain experiment. And hey, have orgasms while doing it!

The toys I mention here are far from your only options: We’ve got remote controlled prostate vibes, thrusting dildos, rabbits, and more these days! Go forth and explore.

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