Congrats! You want to be the best cock sucker you can be. Blowjobs shouldn’t have to feel like a job. Most of us love receiving oral sex, but it can be super hot to give oral sex too. There’s just something so erotic about feeling your partner squirm from your touch, and hear them moan with pleasure. Like any other sex act, different people enjoy different things, both giving and receiving. Some people like deep-throating, while others would rather focus on the head, or have a sensitive gag reflex. Some people love giving a wet, drooling, sloppy blowjob, while others want their lipstick to remain perfect. Remember, no penis is required to try out these tips, either — strap-on blowjobs are important and hot too.
Blowjobs can be a selfless act of kindness to show your penis-owning lover how much you care about them. Yes, selfless, because let’s face it: While giving oral sex can be a major turn-on for both parties, having a penis shoved down your throat is anything but easy. To quote Samantha from Sex and the City: “You men have no idea what we’re dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing.”
For the most part, there’s generally a repressive attitude toward all things kinky, even the slightest deviations from vanilla sex can be uncomfortable to bring up.
Tell me what you want, what you really really want.
Fear not, penis lovers. This is one job you can definitely do, and do extremely well. The first most obvious way to blow your lover’s mind is to communicate and ask what they like. I understand that it can be nerve racking to talk about sexual desires and preferences, but the results can’t be beat. Use dirty talk to enhance the scene and excite your partner even more. First check in about what words they enjoy for dirty talk, and if any words are off limits. This helps avoid any awkward or triggering moments.
I understand that sometimes it can be easier to ask a one night stand to do that kinky thing you’ve been fantasizing about than admit your interest in that kinky thing to your partner of four years. For the most part, there’s generally a repressive attitude toward all things kinky, even the slightest deviations from vanilla sex can be uncomfortable to bring up. I’ve heard many people tell me that they have avoided asking their partners to use sex toys in bed because they feel embarrassed about it, or that they might come across as too kinky. There is also the possibility of feeling inadequate or like they might be replaced. Sometimes the hesitation is about shame, sometimes it’s more a matter of why rock the boat when I’m getting laid on the regular? And sometimes you simply don’t know what to say or when to say it. Take the jump and try talking to your partner. Your partner can’t read your mind, so being able to open up is important. Pick a neutral time when you two are alone. Ideally, you should try bringing up the conversation on a date night. Being relaxed and in a good mood is a great place to start a conversation about pleasure.
There are a few main types of lube for sale to level up your play time: silicone-based, oil-based, water-based, and hybrids.
Wetter is Better
While there is no substitution to actually talking to your partner, there is one thing that can enhance every single aspect of your sex life—and that’s reliable lubrication. I’m talking about lube that is your favorite texture, taste, and even smell. The one that is the perfect thickness for you, and won’t irritate your sensitive bits. This simple accessory can change hand jobs, oral sex, solo sex, and any other body part you want to rub erotically. Think about it—lubrication is key for helping things go in and out of your mouth easily.
Try running your finger on your lips while they’re dry. Then give it a try after you’ve licked your lips. Huge difference! Sometimes giving a blow job can feel like a test of endurance. Sore lips, dry mouth, and an achy jaw can make the experience unpleasant and cut the action short. Lube keeps everything slipping and sliding like you want it to. Think of it this way, no matter how wet your mouth is, adding lube to your oral technique will improve it. It’s the difference between licking your lips and using chapstick. Yea, licking your lips will make them wet temporarily, but using chapstick will keep them moist. I understand that spit is effective, always available, and free… but saliva is more watery than slippery, and it dries quickly. So getting yourself a good lube will help you work smarter not harder.
There are a few main types of lube for sale to level up your play time: silicone-based, oil-based, water-based, and hybrids. Each comes with its own list of pros and cons, or dos and don’ts. From my own rigorous research, I can tell you with confidence that water-based is the easiest to incorporate into any type of play you’re already doing, because it’s simply the most versatile. Water based lubricants have natural feeling formulas that tend to feel better in your mouth, and clean up easier. So looking for all natural water based lubricants like Sliquid Sea that has carrageenan in it to mimic your body’s natural lubrication, or Sliquid Satin that has carrageenan, aloe, and vitamin E. Satin’s slightly thicker formula, with more moisturizing ingredients, is great to add to play, while still moisturizing your skin. It has the added benefit of aloe being moisturizing for the mouth. Aloe vera juice in general is a great way to treat dry mouth.
Don’t rush!
Blood flow is the way to make orgasms more intense. So the more teasing, touching, and tantalizing you do to your partner, the more blood flow and lubrication. Then the orgasm that follows will be nothing short of explosive. Take time to kiss your partner, and not just on the lips. The skin is full of erogenous zones, so explore your partner’s body. You never know what new and exciting place to tease you’ll find. Drawing out every touch, builds excitement and anticipation and confidence. Plus don’t assume that fast stroking is inherently better. Going at a steady rhythm tends to give most people maximum pleasure.
While I do want everyone to maximize foreplay, I want you to think outside of the traditional definition of the word. “Foreplay” generally describes acts that arouse and excite you and your partner prior to some kind of penetrative sex. Some sex acts—blow jobs included—are often relegated into this category, as if they are “lesser” sexual experiences than penetration. That’s narrow thinking and can limit your pleasure. Some people can’t have penetrative sex, or it simply isn’t pleasurable and may never be. And sometimes the stuff we call “foreplay” is simply more fun. Sex doesn’t fit a simple definition. If it’s intimate and arousing and beautiful, it’s sex. Think outside of goal based sex as well, and don’t make orgasm the focus, particularly if someone is having a hard time getting there.
Give them a hand
Hands are a great way to warm up a cock and get them as sensitive as possible without overstimulating your partner. Hands can also be a super helpful tool to add sensation while a penis is in your mouth. Treat your hand as an extension of your mouth, using your hands to stroke while you’re sucking or teasing with your mouth. Create a ring around the base of the penis or use two hands to create a tight band around the base and both balls. Alternatively, use your hands to gently cup their balls, stroke their inner thighs, stimulate their nipples, rub part of the penis that isn’t in your mouth, or reach down and touch yourself! The more turned on you are during play time, the more enthusiasm you’ll show while going down.
Lubed up fingers can also give the sensation of tongue or tongues depending on how you use them on your partners. Remember while using fingers the pads of your fingers tend to feel better on erogenous zones and give more comfortable pressure to sensitive sponges like a G or P spot.
Not only do delicious treats like chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and honey, have sugar in them, they aren’t safe to go inside of a vagina or you run the risk of getting a yeast infection.
Add some flavor
Without making a sticky mess lube is an easy, and body safe way to add flavor to oral sex. Not only do delicious treats like chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and honey, have sugar in them, they aren’t safe to go inside of a vagina or you run the risk of getting a yeast infection. They are also a pain to clean up, and can make a mess while you’re using them. So if you’re using your partner’s body as your personal buffet, flavored lube can be a body safe and easy to clean up way to treat your sense of taste. We live in the glory age of flavored lubes! Anything from Sensuva’s lubricant in candy apple, butter rum, watermelon, or even salted caramel! My personal favorite is the Sliquid brand in general. Their line of swirl flavored lubricants have a smooth texture, and are some of my favorite flavors. The blackberry fig flavor reminds me of being at a fancy farmer’s market, while the pink lemonade and green apple provide enough of that tartness that helps your mouth to water and add to the wetness happening.
Don’t feel obligated to add flavor, it can just be a fun addition. Genitals smell and taste like genitals. As long as you’re healthy and on top of your hygiene, you should taste fine. If you’re still worried about funky spunk, tweaking what you eat may improve the taste of your juice. Avoid garlic, onions, asparagus, and cabbage, which reportedly make for a less than ideal flavor. Focus on drinking water, and eating fruit like pineapple or papaya.
Heat things up, and cool them down
Once you have a great lube in your arsenal, you can try some temperature play. A simple way to incorporate lube and temperature play is putting your lubricant in the fridge to cool it off before you start fooling around. Cold lube on a hot body can heighten sensitivity. Just toss the lube in the fridge, then trace cool trails over each other’s thighs, and genitals, or grab massage oil from the fridge and give their body a cool rub down on hot spots that aren’t genitals. Unlike ice (which leaves you cold and wet), these warm to your body’s temperature.
Or if heating things up if the way you want to go you have a few options. The Warm Touch Warming Lube Dispenser is the luxurious way to have warm lubricant at your fingertips. If you want to make sure that warm lube is luxurious enough to spend the money on the Warm Touch, try letting your lube sit in a glass of warm water to warm it up. Adding a warming lubricant can be a fun way to add sensation to hand stimulation. Sliquid Sizzle uses menthol to go on cool when it’s applied, then heats up with friction. Go ahead and use your imagination for what kind of friction would be fun to warm up Sizzle on your partner.
Your mouth is a highly underrated tool in temperature play. Simply taking a sip of warm of hot liquid can warm or cool your mouth. Using your breath can be sexy. Your breath is hot and kinda moist, so of course it’s going to feel sensual on their skin. Linger an inch above their skin and let your hot breath tease them into a frenzy. Or try licking a trail on your partner then blowing air on it and watch them react in pleasure.
Aquatic Fun
Sexy time in the bath or shower in the movies is always an amazing erotic experience. However IRL it’s never quite what it’s cracked up to be. Ironically it’s because water washes away your body’s natural moisture and increases friction. So, as unexpected as it sounds, you can end up feeling dry even though you’re dripping wet. To make shower action more pleasurable, rub a silicone lubricant like Uberlube on their penis before getting wet. It sits on top of the skin and doesn’t get absorbed, so it’s long-lasting and waterproof. Keep in mind to never use a silicone lube on a silicone toy as the material can be degraded.
Toys, Toys Toys
Adding toys can help not only add extra sensations, but also help lend a hand. Let’s say you’re using your hands for one thing, your mouth for another, and now your partner is begging for a 3rd erogenous zone to be stimulated. Use a sex toy to pinch, stroke, tease, or vibrate. There are endless ways to add toys into the mix, but keep in mind all of them will feel much better with lube!
